That Time I Had A Blog & Pretended I Didn’t

 One word: guilty. Gill-tee.

I am confessing to a huge, huge flaw of mine, in both the world beyond the screen as well as here in the blogiverse.  (Probably more so in the blogiverse.) 

I’m an inconsistent gal. I’m determined until I’m not anymore. I remember until I decide to ignore it and intentionally begin to forget. I play around with my list of priorities and shift some things down a line or two or ten. I get in those “I should blog today but I really don’t want to and who would notice anyway” moods.

It’s been real bad lately. I just responded to an e-mail that was sent to me seventeen (SEVEN. TEEN.) days ago and let me tell you, I would not blame her for scoffing at the reply. Or moving it immediately to the trash.

The worst thing of it is that I can’t even employ the “ohmuhgosh I’ve been so busy lately, my blog has been slipping through the cracks but there just hasn’t been any TIME!” Oh yeah? Then I suppose we should also add my diet & exercise regime, my goal of keeping my room clean, my list of books, my schoolwork, my photography, and my friends to that slipped-through-the-cracks list.

This list should not exist. Because I actually have had the time—it just hasn’t been used. You see, I’m discovering that I’m one of those people who needs a schedule to get things done. A rigid structure. A well-rounded routine. And I think it may just be the summer season but…I feel guilty. It’s layering on me like lasagna.

So, to anyone who might care, I am sorry. I am sorry for being such a terrible blogger and for being horrid at replying to e-mails. But I do promise to make moves here again. I do promise to act like a blogger, think like a blogger, BE a blogger.

Ya hear?

Also, if anyone has any time management/schedule setting/sticking to your schedule tips, I would probably freak out and hug you. Or just send you a thank you e-mail :)

She's In It

I’m going to assume something here.

Most everyone on the blog front has a passion for inspiration. Some kind of reason for gettin’ that creative juice going. Movin’ and groovin’ to his or her own artistic beat. Courting the muse to the local five star restaurant.

Right?

I was working the other day and I got talking to a girl who waitresses but also does print design on the side. Her eyes lit up and she dove into her oversized bag and pulled out two cards, each with their own intricate and carefully formed designs on the front. I could have screeched from amazement at that point, holding those two colorful cards in my dull fingers—but I was working and that would have been outlandish, I suppose. So I ooed and awed at her work and we got to talking about photoshop and all things print and design. It was a small moment of inspiration and passion and smiles. We exchanged names and that was that. Gone. Back to work.

Lately this is just how it seems—a flash of the brightest ray of inspiration infiltrates my mundane day and I see it, so clearly, floating there next to me asking to be remembered. But I can’t hold on to it. Because it never stays long enough. And I want to yell at the sky, at the grass, at the world and ask for someone, something, to send a pile of ideas. A stack of words, colors, sounds, people, feelings, to get me to an inspired place. And I promise myself, promise promise promise, to do something with it all. To find a way over the hump of underemployment and out of the rut of little confidence and make something. Make something of myself. Today. And everyday after.

Here is what I think: every human being who’s a human being has a creative outlet. And yes, I’m even talking about you, the one who’s like “oh, I’m not creative, I have none of that.” Let me press the buzzer on that one—wrong. Some people just have an easier time of expressing their creativity. It’s different for everyone. It could be something like doing a crossword puzzle. Or gardening. Or cooking. Whatever.

I’m making a list for myself. I’m making a list to get me back on track to the creative life. To get me out of this “getting through the days” mentality and closer to the “getting in the days” mind set.

I want to be in it. 

ps- the photo makes a really nice iPhone wallpaper. made it myself ;)